Manipulation Traps

For those of us who are do-gooders at heart, there is a very seductive trap called MANIPULATION.

Sometimes in an effort to fix problems and people we can communicate to create the change that we think is best rather than our personal feelings and perspectives. Communication that is intend to changes something or someone is manipulation. At times communicating in this style confuses the issues and inhibits understanding.

Try to communicate honestly. Express your feelings and perceptions rather than what you think people need to hear. Observation and appreciation are awesome tools of change.

I know a person with a great heart, with a passion for exercising positive influence. But this person is often misunderstood, seemingly over critical and arrogant which is very uncharacteristic of the true intentions. If I had an invitation or permission to offer my observations I would let this person know that their goals may be more easily achieved and welcomed with honest, open, unjudgemental communication. Communication with vulnerability and specificity.

Judgement is different than Expression. Perception is different than the reality of all parties involved. Expressing your own thoughts is very different than condemnation or accusation or declarations of devaluation in reaction to your true feelings. Words intended to fix a person or problem do not communicate your true feelings.

Expressing your true feelings and giving others an insight into who you are and how you think is a very vulnerable state. This is why people often choose to attack things that make them uncomfortable, afraid or insecure. These are some of the trapping of the human soul. You may want to avoid them.